


Discovery

by AmunetMana



Series: In the Mirror [2]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crossdressing, Gen, Loki doesn't actually know how to react, Loki doesn't react as expected, Secrets, Thor's secrets, to be precise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-29 07:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1002905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmunetMana/pseuds/AmunetMana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was an accident. For the first time in his life, Loki could say with complete honestly that this was an accident.</p><p>Sort of sequel to "In the Mirror". Can stand alone without it, but better enjoyed having read the other first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discovery

It was an accident.

 

Loki didn’t often tell the truth, and he had enough stories and titles to his name that no one was in doubt of the fact, even if they had never actually met him before.

 

But in this matter, he told the truth.

 

He had not done this on purpose, had not had an inkling of what he would find – ( _although, later, he would wonder just how he had never noticed, how he had never even conceived of the notion –_ ).

 

He had no reason to even be in Thor’s chambers. Had no reason to have found himself standing in the doorway, staring down at his brother, hunched over on the floor, body forced into a tight dress that Loki did not recognize from anywhere, scrunched down to around his waist.

 

Thor’s eyes were as wide as Loki imagined his own to be, and after a moment of silence, _because what could he do? What could either of them do? Cry? Shout? Accuse?_ Thor’s face crumpled, and Loki found himself terrified that Thor, his older brother, the gold prince, was going to cry.

 

But, it seemed, Thor had had much practice at hiding tears. More, it would seem, than Loki had realised.

 

_(He had always thought Thor had been the first, had been the fastest to learn how to stop himself crying as a child because he wanted to seem manly. Because he wanted to be the strong prince.)_

_(It seemed that a lot of what he’d thought had been wrong. So, so much more than he realised.)_

 

Thor had trained himself well, and no tears fell. Instead, his face slumped, and it was resignation that was caught on his features. Utter defeat. Loki had certainly not expected to find that the worse expression.

 

He realised abruptly that the door was still ajar behind him and he closed it swiftly, making his decision to remain in the room, unable to dismiss what he’d see, unable to walk away from it.

 

Unable to let others see it.

 

It was like being in a room with a wild animal, one that had not yet decided whether to fight or to flee. Loki was an adept hunter, more so that Thor and his friends because he knew both how to be hunter and what it was like to be the hunted.

 

Despite this, he could not fathom Thor’s future course of action.

 

 _Resignation_ , was his immediate guess, _giving up._ But that just seemed so wrong, bitterness on the tongue where none should be, darkness and depression coiling above his brother who usually shone so bright.

 

Usually.

 

_Not the golden son now, eh Thor? In any sense of the term._

 

Loki felt the sudden rush of maliciousness searing through him at the thought, making his blood run hot in his veins. He tried to squash it down, to remind himself; this was Thor, his broth – his _sibling_ , he did not wish Thor harm.

 

The expression in his face must have said differently, however, as Thor remained in his crouch on the floor, motionless, and still on the brink of breakdown. Loki felt lost, seeing Thor like this. Seeing Thor so unsure, not even able to summon the energy to be embarrassed or ashamed. Loki stepped forward slowly, hesitantly. He felt like he was in a trance, his movement soft and surreal. Thor was still the wild animal; Loki didn’t want to spook him. Didn’t want him to do anything they’d both come to regret.

 

He came to stand over Thor, and at he close proximity could see Thor shaking. Loki lowered himself down slowly, steadily.

 

( _Not good to tower over him, bring yourself down to his level, don’t appear threatening…)_

 

Thor wasn’t looking at him. Was refusing to look at him, Loki thought. Carefully, carefully. Slowly, his heart threatening to burst free from his chest, Loki’s hand slowly moved to rest against Thor’s shoulder, palm pressed flat against smooth golden skin. Thor tensed, but Loki refused to let his own limbs freeze up in return. His fingers curled around the curve of Thor’s arm gently, clinically, smoothing a line downwards. He continued his slow journey down, until his fingers met the cool slippery silk of the garment caught around Thor’s waist.

 

The jerk in Thor’s movements was a greater indication as to the location of his hands than the feel of fabric beneath his fingers was.

 

Adding his other hand to the other side of Thor’s waist, he gripped the dress gently and began to pull it down from Thor’s waist. His fingers traced around to the small of Thor’s back, locating fastenings Thor had missed, possibly in his haste, releasing them gently and sliding the dress free for his sibling’s hips, from his legs.

 

He moved his hands slowly again, tracing back up Thor’s body to hook his hands under Thor’s armpits, pulling him up gently from the floor. Thor moved with him; Loki wasn’t forced to drag an unresponsive body with him. That was…that was good. Better than he’d expected, if he was being honest.

 

He led Thor gentle to his bed, helping his step out of the dress gently. Once Thor was sat down, Loki moved to pick the dress up from the floor, folding it with swift, impersonal movements. He didn’t know where it came from, what Thor planned to do with it…in the end he set it down gently on the bed beside Thor. He could deal with it.

 

This was the point at which Loki left the room and pretended nothing had ever happened. Thor would go back to hiding in his room with his secrets that no one suspected, only he’d learn to be more careful locking his door and avoiding Loki. And Loki would alter his patterns, would find ways not to go past Thor’s rooms, would be distant from his for a while. They would fall back into their old patterns eventually. It would take a little time to return to normalcy, but they could do it, they _would_ do it…

 

So why couldn’t Loki bring himself to leave?

 

Because Thor still looked like he was about to cry with shame and self-loathing.

 

Because Loki thought he’d never see that expression other than in a mirror.

 

_(Because he loved Thor more dearly than even he had thought.)_

 

His hands found Thor’s shoulders again. The thunderer jumped at the touch, his face finally rose to meet Loki’s gaze –

 

And Loki pressed gentle lips to Thor’s forehead.

 

It was one of those moments, pivotal, that may have lasted only a second or may have spanned a century. Loki was almost regretful as he finally pulled back, still hovering close to Thor’s face. He could feel Thor trembling still beneath his fingers, could feel the breath he was refusing to let out. Loki didn’t realise until then that he was holding his own breath too.

 

“Goodnight, sister,” Loki breathed out, his lips only millimetres from Thor’s brow, close enough to feel the shiver that ran through Thor at the sound of the feminine title.

 

It was a step too far.

 

Loki knew that the instant the word was out of his mouth. They could have ignored this, they really could of even now, had he not spoken, could have pretending he had never found Thor. The dress would have vanished, Thor would have returned to his usual boisterous self outside of his chambers, and no one would have known.

 

But there was a promise between them now. A promise that Loki had made, however unwittingly. He had understood and acknowledge what Thor was, what he _really_ was, inside. Loki had signed himself over to being a part of this secret, and that restrained him just as much as it did Thor.

 

And yet, when Thor’s face rose fully, and Loki saw Thor’s eyes, wide and blue and so full of hope and desperation at a single word, Loki couldn’t bring himself to regret what had been said. He slipped away from Thor, ignoring the way Thor leant forward, keeping contact for as long as he could, and made his way to the door.

 

“Sleep well,” were his final words before he slipped out, closing the door behind him, the clanging sound final and absolute. _Goodnight, sister of mine._

 

Loki headed down the hallway at a sharp pace, his heel clicking against the ground. The matter was done for the night, but he could not let it end there.  There were books, surely, other cases. Research he could do. Loki vowed there and then that he would find a way to help Thor, and damn what anyone else said.

 

.

 

_(he never realised, even years later, that it had never once occurred to him to use what he had learn against Thor.)_

**Author's Note:**

> Please review~


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